Stresssssss ='(

20/9/2010

My heart very heavy who know?>.<" But i duno what thing step on my heart right now.... im jz feel veryyy stresss.....i duno why like tiz... but if people ask me what happen..i cant say out... my brain empty onli i know..... maybe because of exam,friend ,dance competition and love... just let me think much ....i cant stop think those thg =.= it jz very hard to solve it..... aiyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo T.T everynight my tear will come out...i duno i cry for what....it jz feel so... STRESSSSSSSSS .......3 EXAM...nonstop... mock exam,PMR exam,UEC exam... now duno wan how face on my rabbit again.... argue again...i know i wrong alway say DIE DIE DIE.... im just joking,at the same time i know u dun like... now until you say yourself die die.... like wanna revenge on me..... u are the 2nd bf that will revenge self gf... mayb u do the right way...cause you wanna make me Feel it those feeling u all dint wrong,all my wrong..alway argue it just me the onli one will begin i know u busy for playing game....u can tell me,but why u wanna lie me.. dun ask why i will know you are playing game... u promise me wont lie me , but u lie me..... u alway break our promise... Last saturday i ask you those question....i know im just to waste asking you cause u answer me the same answer..me is like that..bad boyfriend ='( i know you like drink beer,i know you like smoke,i know you naughty and bad But same thing,i dun care you is what kind of person im still love,cause i know,u still got many time to change yourself before i do stump up to you,mayb u dun like,cause for you mayb i do just wrong~i do wrong.... If you are really wanna to change,you really love me you will do it for me everything to change yourself from bad become a nice and good person... but u jz not enough confidence you know? you can,just like you now stop smoking already...that wad you have just do for me.. u did it now,why other cant change,mayb i really too much Care you... mayb im the 1 bad girlfriend,dun let you drink beer....smoke,be bad guy why b4 you can?why other people can you cant?not fair right? if i say,i let you to do everything,urself wont think do this is right or wrong so that why i so care you,untill you no freedom.. if i dun care..u never stop never change till now .... you try ask back urself izit the true i say? Im sorry if im say dao so lin cc...cause i duno got what world that NICE can say...im really soryy.... rabbit,If one day,i suddenly dun wanna care you dun wanna ask you alway doing what ,why late reply me, u say wan what,i let you go and do it...you will how? did you will feel weird with my aititude sudden change like this? If that day really come true..i hope you dun think much.. not im not love you,is i let you free already,mean...im tired... you alway not happy i ngam you,so that i wont ngam you already just wanna see you happy,i enough rabbit =) really... but now,however i will let you become a nice person one day... nothing that impossible rabbit... i dun requests you to be a perfect man, but i requests you to be a nice boy..... Rabbit please dont angry me already............... >.<
wo aik ni Rabbit =D❤

Now i lost 1 chance to join the competition cause of exam....
i duno why put the time so match till like this?
i look forward for the comeptition very long time
now it is impossible that i can join..my last exam 29/10
the competition on 5/11
after exam i onli left 4 days to practice...not fair!
haix...i dun wan give up the comeptition....!! T.T
heartpainnnnnnn and sad after i hear dao this informaion
Last answer,is cant JOIN

Cryyyyyyyyy

我把你弄得很生气
我很坏是？

让我再次，也是最后一次答应我自己
我不再让你想今天
我不再让你生气
我为你付出的，你不喜欢，我放弃帮助你
只要怎么做你开心，我愿意。。。。
忍受那些痛，我也会为你做
你生气，我静静

老公，对不起，我让你这样
都是我没有用
不够体谅你......
我一直都不想这样，你每次说你自己很坏
我想办法帮助你，可是我付出的却错
每次吵架，你都Skip或者不回复
这样逃避，你也不会开心....
我们也了解不了对方你明白么？
我不是很喜欢吵架，只不过我觉得我了解你多，
可是你了解我不多
我对不起你，我真的是一个失败的女朋友
你认识到我，是你不幸
你爱上我，你的不幸
虽然你真的很像我以前的男朋友
当我生气的时候，不会逗我开心说甜话
反而你也跟着生气
当我伤心的时候，你不会安慰我
反而你跟着不开心

我想你懂得怎么逗我开心，因为我很容易就开心回
可是你每次都只会让我更伤，
我该怎么告诉你？我想对你说清楚没一个东西
可是我说不到，因为你不想听
你会不reply我，skip我
一旦你不理我，我就会哭
一旦你生气我会害怕，我尽力逗你开心
可是我做不到，很没用对么？
我不想你看不好的东西，因为这样感觉上
你看的不是真的，可是也是你看了别的女生的感觉
你懂?不是我不明白男生，我想要你知道，这些东西，
你已经长大，不要还不懂事的看那些东西

我和你在一起的时候，我记得我答应你
无论发生什么事我都不会找事吵架
我会让你一辈子开心
可是，这一切都是梦话
原来我做不到，因为我不够了解你
老公，我真的很对不起今天
这一天，是我让你最生气的一天
我会记得我曾经这样对你
原来我是那么的坏
我不会原谅我自己的错

永远！我都不会原谅自己
因为一切都错在我不懂你的心，
你坚持要看，那我不管了，我让你
因为你曾说过我不懂男生的感觉
我...很累了....
我把一切选择沉默，哭泣带过

11/09/10 不懂

Yesterday Feel exciteddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
can meet rabbit..im too early wake up already...
duno why wake up feel not so well ='(
Stomach Feel pain and Keep going to vomit,
but duno why cant vomit out == DAMN !
Then im going to bath and Change cloths...
My mum bring me and bro go eat breakfast....
i dint eat much....Then i Feel Wanna vomit again...
My stomach really not FEEL WELL >.<"
yiiii... Then mum fetch me go Warisan...
i Go toilet again...=.=" trying to vomit out all the thing but duno why cant...
after that i lazy wait vomit better i go find rabbit....
Go inside the CP..Wakao Malay Smell..
yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Hari raya
..Too many malay chung hoi...
Walk onli.. Finally meet dao rabbit..

....bla bla bla bla bla .....

Story begin....

While we gonna wait all people come...
Me,rabbit and his fren wait at YOYO...
i Saw Jennifer there already.....
i look at her Very long and beckon with her...
But She dint Respon to me and I has just give she SKIP then she go away already...
Rabbit fren ask me..
why Jennifer dont wanna respon me..
Im just feel so hard to asswer him tat question =.=
i say duno la..habit sudah.....
Suddenly feel angry and Hurt she treat me like that..
ytd morning i sms with her..
i ask her got go her cousin party or not she say "GOT" before if im sms with her..
she sure will answer me GOT YA,U LEH?
now using 1 word answer me whole the question...
Just Because she Yesterday treat me like....
make me Got a Feeling again...
i think we going to break out Frendship Soon.if she still treating me like tiz Even ytd i sit at the Kbox keep look at her..
she also dont wan to Smile with me..
JUST ONLI A SMILE...='(
Fine..It ok...
And I saw "HER"Front the yoyo......
rabit fren ask me dont fight with "HER".....i say why i wan ~
Just Feel so weired.......
And "SHE" Same Kbox with Us.... =.= why "SHE" will there..GOSH!
"SHE" and her Fren keep look at me....
Fine=.= give them see bao ta...

After that i bring rabbit go chruch.....
NOT GO PRAY is go See my fren RACHEL Dance comeptition..
after that 3pm we back CP, Rabbit dint back home ytd he and his Fren go rent a hotel...and live thr...
rabbit ask me accompany him go see the room then i accompany him go....
Go up thr ......saw his fren playing =.=
Then "SHE" tell Rabbit fren wanna come up The hotel and have a look Then

...bla bla bla ...

"SHE" at outside the door...Keep look inside..
Im just stand inside near the door..
"SHE" say HI to me,Im sure respon back her although i hate "HER"...
"SHE"keep @#$%^&*() thr....
Begin Im feel So annoying...i have some impulse wanna ask "HER"
why dont you just Say or Do directly what you want...
Dont keep waste your time to do so many thing
make dao self so cheap...=.=
But I Never wanna to argue with "HER" from the begin till now
I dint have to dispute with "HER" anything...
And i know "SHE" Do like tat Just because "SHE" still Love rabbit..
however...I never let "HER"..If i let,i know rabbit wont choose "HER"
cause i trust Rabbit
I Going out with rabbit i just wanna to be happy
Beh tahan them,i go out,rabbit follow me go Cp too...
im just Feel Sad... Think bu dao Why...Why "SHE" just dun wanna stop
dispute with me?She happy if do like tat?Im never Do so childish
wanna argue with her...i let her....Mayb my Face...
Really look like easy give bully those ...So she dare like tat
But my heart not just like u all thk till So Weak....
I even not scare..Just Dun wan Sot with her Using childish device to dispute =.=
If someday,they ask me out..however who celebrate on their birthday
I will Not out anymore..cause i know,Got them,sure got "HER"
I just wanna stop this war....except IF Rabbit will be there..i will Go..
other time..i never wanna to go...Please dont say im scare of "HER"
Cause Im not...she just a human being,same like me....= )

THE END ~

Cryiiiing ='(

I'm Sorry for the everything i have done ytd,
All because of me,I make u angry again....
iF im acting to dint see dao,i dint ask you
i dint comment in to your post,everything wont become like this
im truely a useless...while im webcam with rabbit...
i saw the post ii lie down on the table and cry.....
i know how i cry also cant find out the truth answer
why you wanna post those thing on ur walll.....
i know sometime im really hurt you,u say u will stay with me forever
i trust you can do it for me , i trust what you promise me....
getting more people comment in the post...
Qian told you im acting smile infront you
Im really dint have acting,that was im really smile with you
but u even not trust me....i was Soooooo Sad
and you angry,i ask you not to be angry what you has just reply...
I duno u are Gu Yi Or what...U has just treat me Very Lc.
"Dun say me angry..ltr ppl say me again everytime hurt u itu la"
Just the word you has reply onli...Im cry more fierce
after that you really Off9 already.....

Im really not understand why you just say those word out...
If will become real someday,i trust you,but u sudently type those thing
it make me Hard to Trust Forever again....
im scare...Im really Scare...='(
Rabbit....I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I cant lost you rabbit...........................................
And i dun wanna throw our momeries that we had done on this 7month
I dont 1,Im never gonna regret i fall in love with you....................
im never gonna regret to be your girlfren................
im never regret together with you although how hurt
im never regreat No matter what happen in between use
HOWEVER I ALSO WONT AND NEVER GONNA TO LEAVE YOU RABBIT
i cant lost you,JUST CANT ='(

I know Cry is useless,cant settle our Love.....
but can you tell me U wanna Continue together with me now?
Yesterday i was dream So long,and cry for 2 hour then just going to fall as sleep
i has Think many thing....JUST 'IF' someday it really happen..
i duno i wan how to accept the truth...Cant
i wake up,i continue cry again when im see the post....
i just hope that you find me faster.....I miss you So much rabbit ='(
I Must Out on this saturday however my mum let or not..
I JUST DUN WAN TO CARE if my mum scold me..
im wanna meett you,i hope tat you also can comfirm to out...

Rabbit please find me fast , im really miss you now
Im just wanna told you sorry for everything....
and we Wanna to be Happy today...
today Was our 7month anniversary .....
the time Getting faster...jz a while ..
we going to be 7month..im So happy we can Walk till So long
No matter it was how Hard to walk by..

Babe I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Happy 7month anniversary
Rabbitt Lee Jie Qi❤, Muacksss

Waiting 9/9/10

Today i dint go to school,Too stress,going to Pmr
i dint start study yet,haix.....
Im so stress on everything,what im gonna do?
Today whole day at house,sit infront computer
from morning till night.....
Im miss him soo much....But he busying on something
Duno what he busy , #34 nvm la..dun ask
Later he angry me again like last time...
Now just im feel Sad and some angry~
i duno why i wan to be like that....
Sometime i wish i could ask him some few question
that make him feel annoying and hard to answer...
And i dint hear b4 he ask me those few quesion...
i remember last time i bad mood,i open hs5 find him
i ask him those silly question,he ask back me
can dont ask me those question anymore....
I just hope that someday he could ask me back
cox i also wanna to let him know my heart answwer...
Just like for him, was so hard to answer me ..
His hp bo lui again....call him never answer...
he dint bring phone go out..use ppl hp sms to me..
alright~=') Fine..im ok..
lets count the time i waiting for him
12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 hour...gosh~
7 hour 3 msg..haix......now wad im gonna to do...
Waiting again...Nvm...

While im waiting im updated my blog...
I like my blog so much..espeacially the picture ❤
rabbit saw it sure like ..heheeeee❤
dun know when he just can see it ...hmmm
mayb midnite la..
Just now,i has just nothing to do
i read back my blog dairy...
every post that i has just read it....
im just feel So speechless my tear drop out...
every post,i've feel it all the pain..
the moment i type those feeling..
The Tear fall deeply ..............
Sometime im really duno why i will type like this
All the feeling,im just hope i could ask you...
Im too worry about this relationship..
Make till im hard trust on how long u will stay with me
Im just Duno how to say that im really love you..
I've no idea to say how much i love...
So that Alway cry for u,make u feel annoying...
While im today waiting you to find me...
i keep think my feeling..and many...i has just post on Fb those feeling..
let translate to english

♥ I Was Endure the Feeling , To be disguise Happy Infront you
♥ Cause U Dont know Waiting Feeling
♥ No matter how im Cry , U Cant Feel it
♥ I Dont care I can endure or not , I Will attempt to Endure
♥ Cause I Dun wanna see you unhappy
♥ I Told my Self Before wanna Let you happy
♥ Even though im happy or not , You dont need to worry about So many
♥ While im see you happy , im satisfied
♥ Cause I LoVe you Babe ♥

My Love have revenge❤

It was Raining outside....Feel very Cold...
And im Feel hungry,but duno why no appetite to eat
My Hand Feel so cold right now and just holding the phone
sms with you...but i was crying..=')
you dont wanan tell me what you doing on,why keep late reply
u keep say no no no ..ntg ntg ntg....but why late reply?
u still dun wanna tell me why..it okay...
just let me keep think why you will late reply...
just keep think,my brain have many answer ... It's Feel so Hurt
for the every answer...haix....
Ytd we was argue...i say u never know the feeling..
make you sad..i was so regret to say that...cause i was too hurt
i scare to let you sad..when i at fb saw what u have just post
when i saw it..i crying more fierce..haix...im really useless
then i hope that i can make you happy back..
so that i keep told u say tat i wana call you
Finally i make you laugh,i was Sooooo happy !!
But today,i make you angry again....
im really useless gf...u dun wanna told me what you doing,
but i keep force u to say,make you angry again...
now u treat me Sooo cold Soo cold...how i regret also no use..
we argue everyday...i duno why..everything come from me...
all i make....all i begin 1st..ALL JUST ONLI ME..!!!
that y i hate myself is this reason..!!
When i make you angry,u will treat me cold...
u do the right way to me...u dint do wrong anything...
i know u got self secret...sometime im really dun need to know too much
of your thing..cox u really need a space to hide your thing...
but i dint have anything to hide from you..i duno why we both not same..
maybe we not match,not same world people...
duno why god wanna let me to fall in love with you...
between the relationship are alway argue...
this friday 10/9/2010
our 7month anniversary..alway our anniversary also argue..
i hope this time we wont...

The secret u keep it..i'll stop asking you....
I hope myself can thking dao the answer ....why u dun wanna tell me
what are you doing keep late reply me..
you trying to let me try the feeling,now i know ....
U let me know too much Love ...and what kind of Love..
Great..i was going back to my JAIL life again...
WHAT LOVE ALSO THE SAME ...
u all are treating me on the same way...
that was my BIG WRONG...and u all let me know that
The most wrong in the relationship not boy..!!
IS ME..A GIRL that duno how to love a boy..
Just know to hurt you....
My Love HAVE revenge..!! That Correct..=')
DUN need to say No again..

❤

I just wanna be with you ='(
Did you know how much i love you?
i love you more than other...
more then everyone...more than i love myself
i know that i was very useless..i cant give you hapiness...
babe...I just need your answer...can let me know do you happy with me?
Do you regret together with me?Do you?
Can giv me your heart the real answer?
I dont wan to hear the answer by ur mouth..
I was really missing on you this few day rabbit...
Same thing you do alway on this 2 month..
Less find me...Late find me....im Sorry...i know that you need ur own space
but if i dont find you,will you find me?
alway i find you..i duno why im being a girl alway be so voluntarily
but i still do it....im worry u whole the time you dint find me..

This few day we keep argue...im the one begin 1st...
i really duno why im so small gas...abit then angry
i just hope that what feeling also dint have..
so that we will be happy wont argue...but...
im was so sensitive on every feeling......why?why wan like that?
if i dun tell you that im crying..im hurt,im sad,im angry...
Will you care?will u ask?
i hate myself very much..not im really wanna say myself useless alway
but it true..
i hope i ever duno what is pain..........
i scare i have a bf that same as b4..i dun wan!!
i promise myself..you was the last i love....i wanna be with you forever
i dun wanna to lost you.....please stay with me..

一个温暖的拥抱，让我能够感觉幸福
当你牵着我的手，我能感觉到什么叫永远
当你不在我身边，我觉得这个世界很寂寞
你不想理我的时候，我就会觉得自己没用
我哭是因为，我真的在乎这份感情

❤

Im feel heavy now....................................................
Hard to move......what happen?Too strees?
not you not enough love me,is me Cant feel it
im really wan to know what you has just thking on ur mind,
i has just break my promise,that i promise myself never angry anymore
but i has just break it..why like tat?Please wake up and do what u has just promise..EMILY WAKE NOW!!
i say already i must endure however it hurt....i cant say cant endure....
im really feel stress~im really feel tired...My heart was broken into pieces....
what can i do now?can u treat me nicely please?i mean i know im to care about you
make till u no freedom.......if u cant accompany me..please tell me that u wan to playgame
i can let you...although im not happy....
i know u feel annoying...me 2 feel annoying...
我很想你陪我，我很想你关心我

our relationship was getting cold and far .....
we alway argue,u also dun wan reply me already
i know u dun wan argue with me...but can u tell me the truth
i dun wan you lie me...
u know im very love you,u know im easy get hurt
u know im alway cry if you treat me like tat
but why u still wanna continue treat me like tat?
im not understand.....im very hurt u know?
i scare i will lost control and do foolish thing.....

Im very love you LEE JIE QI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN YOU STOP TREAT ME LIKE TAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAS SO HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!